Emotional...

I hate posting when I feel emotional... or out of control. So I have been fighting for about an hour on whether I should post or not.

I went to my moms church on Sunday... I have not been to church in a LONG time. The pastor was so real, so passionate, so.... in love with Jesus. It wasn't just the message he spoke, it's what he didn't have to say. It's the fire in his eyes and the love in his voice. And it make me wonder, how much better is Jesus?

I felt welcomed by this pastor in a way I can't say that other pastors have welcomed me in the past. I felt good there... there was no pressure no cares other than to worship my Jesus. But having arrived in a bad mood I fought it off at first. But worship was beautiful, and I loved being in fellowship with other believers.

I have been reading a lot through Hebrews, Ezekiel, Genesis and more recently in Acts. I am learning so much, but I don't feel that I am learning enough. I even shut off the television the other day to read.

I don't know. The more I pray and read, the more lost and "dumb" I feel. I don't get it. I need time alone with Him. Today more so than a lot of other days in the past few months. I'm not sure why the sudden rush of emotions...

Jess