Does Anybody???...

There is a song called "Does Anybody Hear Her?" by Casting Crowns... It's quite well known as far as Christian songs go, and it has been stuck in my head all day today.

"Does anybody hear her? Oh, does anybody see? Does anybody even know she's going down today? Under the shadow of our steeples, with all the lost and lonely people, searching for a hope that's tucked away in you and me. Oh does anybody hear her, does anybody see?"

Sometimes I have pity for the person the girl, of which this song speaks. Sometimes I feel like I am in a way that girl. Sometimes I wonder does anybody really hear me? Does anybody really care about me? I think back on all the hard times I have gone through in the past few months, and I don't see the people in my life that I thought would always be there for me. Instead I see "new" friends there to help me down the path. It's these same "new" friends that continue to encourage me on a regular basis. These "new" friends that are questioning me about my walk with God, and making sure I am on the right path.

Sometimes I wonder about friendships. Why is it only intended for some friendships to last a lifetime, and others to come and go? Obviously there is the growth factor... new friends cause new growth and changes in your life. But I have never even fully comprehended this much about them. Why do some friendships end in hurt and disappointment, and others you feel at peace about.

Among these things, I have also been considering my spiritual needs lately. I feel empty and hungry... I know this is because I have not been in the word nearly as much as I would like to be in it. I have been studying as time allows, but when I look back on my actions in studying Buddhism and my actions as a Christian they are nowhere near alike. I find myself more easily distracted and far less disciplined. I feel a strong conviction on this subject... but the harder I try the more I seem to get more distracted. I have also had a strong desire to become part of a reunion group with TD, and to find a mentor. I need more growth in my life... a lot more.

Well. I worked a 12 1/2 hour day today, so I am going to hit the sack.

Jess