Life is so enjoyable. I love each new experience that I have. Lately I have been learning to deal with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. But that is what makes life so beautiful. Life is about learning new things... feeling, seeing, touching, etc. It's about learning and growing. This summer, I have grown very much... and I hope that as fall season comes around in a few months, I have more opportunities to learn and grow. I know that in at least one aspect I have the opportunity to grow... :) (Thanks to VN...(c: )
Well. Peace out.
Jess
30.7.07
29.7.07
Good Weekend.
So I had a fantastic weekend, which is only ending with something greater... two full days off!
First of all yesterday I spent the morning with a dear friend at the Westshore mall in Tampa. Then I went and saw two of the most beautiful girls I know. Lovely girls... :) Then on top of all that, I made a mends with a friend that I haven't talked to in about a month or so. And I agreed to go visit her as soon as I have the money to do so. It was really good.
And then as if life could not get any better... I had the most amazing time with God. So beautiful.
Well I am going to go. I got some stuff I need to take care of before I head off to bed tonight. :)
Jessica
First of all yesterday I spent the morning with a dear friend at the Westshore mall in Tampa. Then I went and saw two of the most beautiful girls I know. Lovely girls... :) Then on top of all that, I made a mends with a friend that I haven't talked to in about a month or so. And I agreed to go visit her as soon as I have the money to do so. It was really good.
And then as if life could not get any better... I had the most amazing time with God. So beautiful.
Well I am going to go. I got some stuff I need to take care of before I head off to bed tonight. :)
Jessica
24.7.07
16.7.07
..::Who Am I?::..
These last few days have left me pondering the answer to the question "Who Am I?"...
Well sure my name is Jessica. I am a shift leader at Atlanta Bread. I am working towards my brown belt in Kung Fu... but who am I really?
The Christian friends I have who are reading this would answer you are a child of the most high God. I would hear things like you are more than a conqueror and that by His stripes I am healed.
My more secular side of my mind would tell me that I am confused. That I don't know what I want in life. That I bounce between the fine lines of Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism. That I am a failure.
But that doesn't clear up the question of Who Am I?
Who am I going to let myself be defined as? Am I someone who can not manage their anger? Am I someone who has been known to be loyal and trustworthy? Can people believe what I say to them? Do I lead or follow?
Who Am I?
For now... I am Jess... and I am logging off for the night.
Well sure my name is Jessica. I am a shift leader at Atlanta Bread. I am working towards my brown belt in Kung Fu... but who am I really?
The Christian friends I have who are reading this would answer you are a child of the most high God. I would hear things like you are more than a conqueror and that by His stripes I am healed.
My more secular side of my mind would tell me that I am confused. That I don't know what I want in life. That I bounce between the fine lines of Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism. That I am a failure.
But that doesn't clear up the question of Who Am I?
Who am I going to let myself be defined as? Am I someone who can not manage their anger? Am I someone who has been known to be loyal and trustworthy? Can people believe what I say to them? Do I lead or follow?
Who Am I?
For now... I am Jess... and I am logging off for the night.
26.6.07
The Verse
"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age."
Titus 2:11-12
That, is my verse that I need to be thinking about and contemplating for my next belt. A little early maybe to be thinking about this...but I doubt it is ever too early to start thinking about the word of God.
I think this verse is very fitting of this time in my life. Very.
Well. I think it is time for me to go to bed.
Jess
P.S. Yes, two posts in one day. I know... risky.
Emotional...
I hate posting when I feel emotional... or out of control. So I have been fighting for about an hour on whether I should post or not.
I went to my moms church on Sunday... I have not been to church in a LONG time. The pastor was so real, so passionate, so.... in love with Jesus. It wasn't just the message he spoke, it's what he didn't have to say. It's the fire in his eyes and the love in his voice. And it make me wonder, how much better is Jesus?
I felt welcomed by this pastor in a way I can't say that other pastors have welcomed me in the past. I felt good there... there was no pressure no cares other than to worship my Jesus. But having arrived in a bad mood I fought it off at first. But worship was beautiful, and I loved being in fellowship with other believers.
I have been reading a lot through Hebrews, Ezekiel, Genesis and more recently in Acts. I am learning so much, but I don't feel that I am learning enough. I even shut off the television the other day to read.
I don't know. The more I pray and read, the more lost and "dumb" I feel. I don't get it. I need time alone with Him. Today more so than a lot of other days in the past few months. I'm not sure why the sudden rush of emotions...
Jess
I went to my moms church on Sunday... I have not been to church in a LONG time. The pastor was so real, so passionate, so.... in love with Jesus. It wasn't just the message he spoke, it's what he didn't have to say. It's the fire in his eyes and the love in his voice. And it make me wonder, how much better is Jesus?
I felt welcomed by this pastor in a way I can't say that other pastors have welcomed me in the past. I felt good there... there was no pressure no cares other than to worship my Jesus. But having arrived in a bad mood I fought it off at first. But worship was beautiful, and I loved being in fellowship with other believers.
I have been reading a lot through Hebrews, Ezekiel, Genesis and more recently in Acts. I am learning so much, but I don't feel that I am learning enough. I even shut off the television the other day to read.
I don't know. The more I pray and read, the more lost and "dumb" I feel. I don't get it. I need time alone with Him. Today more so than a lot of other days in the past few months. I'm not sure why the sudden rush of emotions...
Jess
25.6.07
Does Anybody???...
There is a song called "Does Anybody Hear Her?" by Casting Crowns... It's quite well known as far as Christian songs go, and it has been stuck in my head all day today.
"Does anybody hear her? Oh, does anybody see? Does anybody even know she's going down today? Under the shadow of our steeples, with all the lost and lonely people, searching for a hope that's tucked away in you and me. Oh does anybody hear her, does anybody see?"
Sometimes I have pity for the person the girl, of which this song speaks. Sometimes I feel like I am in a way that girl. Sometimes I wonder does anybody really hear me? Does anybody really care about me? I think back on all the hard times I have gone through in the past few months, and I don't see the people in my life that I thought would always be there for me. Instead I see "new" friends there to help me down the path. It's these same "new" friends that continue to encourage me on a regular basis. These "new" friends that are questioning me about my walk with God, and making sure I am on the right path.
Sometimes I wonder about friendships. Why is it only intended for some friendships to last a lifetime, and others to come and go? Obviously there is the growth factor... new friends cause new growth and changes in your life. But I have never even fully comprehended this much about them. Why do some friendships end in hurt and disappointment, and others you feel at peace about.
Among these things, I have also been considering my spiritual needs lately. I feel empty and hungry... I know this is because I have not been in the word nearly as much as I would like to be in it. I have been studying as time allows, but when I look back on my actions in studying Buddhism and my actions as a Christian they are nowhere near alike. I find myself more easily distracted and far less disciplined. I feel a strong conviction on this subject... but the harder I try the more I seem to get more distracted. I have also had a strong desire to become part of a reunion group with TD, and to find a mentor. I need more growth in my life... a lot more.
Well. I worked a 12 1/2 hour day today, so I am going to hit the sack.
Jess
"Does anybody hear her? Oh, does anybody see? Does anybody even know she's going down today? Under the shadow of our steeples, with all the lost and lonely people, searching for a hope that's tucked away in you and me. Oh does anybody hear her, does anybody see?"
Sometimes I have pity for the person the girl, of which this song speaks. Sometimes I feel like I am in a way that girl. Sometimes I wonder does anybody really hear me? Does anybody really care about me? I think back on all the hard times I have gone through in the past few months, and I don't see the people in my life that I thought would always be there for me. Instead I see "new" friends there to help me down the path. It's these same "new" friends that continue to encourage me on a regular basis. These "new" friends that are questioning me about my walk with God, and making sure I am on the right path.
Sometimes I wonder about friendships. Why is it only intended for some friendships to last a lifetime, and others to come and go? Obviously there is the growth factor... new friends cause new growth and changes in your life. But I have never even fully comprehended this much about them. Why do some friendships end in hurt and disappointment, and others you feel at peace about.
Among these things, I have also been considering my spiritual needs lately. I feel empty and hungry... I know this is because I have not been in the word nearly as much as I would like to be in it. I have been studying as time allows, but when I look back on my actions in studying Buddhism and my actions as a Christian they are nowhere near alike. I find myself more easily distracted and far less disciplined. I feel a strong conviction on this subject... but the harder I try the more I seem to get more distracted. I have also had a strong desire to become part of a reunion group with TD, and to find a mentor. I need more growth in my life... a lot more.
Well. I worked a 12 1/2 hour day today, so I am going to hit the sack.
Jess
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